After we got married, my wife and I used to travel all over the world, but our experience with marriage after baby going out changed completely when our travels came to a halt after the baby was born.
I don’t know how my wife felt, but I began to find it incredibly boring to just sit at home on weekends or holidays. I didn’t like going out alone, and I didn’t have friends in the city to go out with.
After the baby arrived, whenever I suggested to my wife that we visit a nearby park during the holidays or on weekends, she would get irritated. This led to arguments and started causing a rift in our lovely relationship.
👉 Sometimes, marriage problems do not begin with major arguments; they can start when couples slowly become emotionally distant from each other.
Only my heart knows why this happened and how I managed to handle the situation.
How Having a Baby Changed Our Married Life
I have always had a passion for traveling and exploring new places since childhood. I remember that when I met my wife for the first time before we got married, the very first thing I asked her was whether she enjoyed traveling.
After all, what is the point if a woman is beautiful but lazy when it comes to travel? It was because of this mindset that I had turned down proposals from two or three beautiful women—simply because they had no interest in traveling.
My wife is beautiful, but what made me even happier—and feel truly fortunate—was her love for travel. After our wedding, we celebrated our honeymoon by visiting two or three of the most beautiful places in the world.
We would start planning our next getaway days before the weekend arrived; neither of us liked spending our holidays at home.
I don’t recall us ever having a major argument before marriage. We travelled together like best friends and truly enjoyed our married life.
Two years flew by. We had travelled across much of the globe. We both had good jobs, so we would set aside a portion of our salaries specifically for our “next trip.” Two years later, I learned that my wife was pregnant. We were overjoyed.
I remember how happy we were when we found out about the pregnancy. My wife mentioned that we couldn’t take long-distance trips anymore, as the baby’s health was the top priority. I readily agreed with her.
Even during her pregnancy, we continued to visit nearby parks, go for walks, watch movies, and simply enjoy our time together. That is how the days passed, and eventually, my wife gave birth to a baby boy.
I went mad with joy the moment the baby was born, but little did I know that this very reason would cause a rift to develop in the relationship between my spouse and me.
Marriage Problems After Having a Baby: What Changed?
We were overjoyed about our baby boy. It had been two weeks since he was born. During the third weekend, I suggested to my wife that we take the baby for a walk in the nearby park, but she looked at me as if I had said something completely inappropriate.
Anger was written all over her face. She said, “Aren’t you ashamed to even talk about taking a newborn out for a walk?”
I replied, “Why should I be ashamed? I’m just talking about going to the park right near our house.”
Furious, she said, “You’ve become a father now; life isn’t just about going out and having fun. Fulfilling responsibilities towards the child is a father’s duty, too.”
That made me angry too, and I said, “I am fulfilling my duties, but sometimes I feel like going out too, you know? We don’t have to go far; we could just take the child to a nearby park.”
She winced and said furiously, “You’re out of your mind. You don’t care about the baby’s health at all. The duty of taking care of the baby is not only the mother’s; it is the fathers too. If you want to take a walk, take it alone.”
Saying this, she took the baby and went into the room, slamming the door so hard that the sleeping baby woke up and started crying loudly. I was furious at that moment, but I somehow managed to control my temper and stepped out of the house alone for a walk.
Perhaps this was the first time we had ever had such a major argument. When I returned from my walk, my wife was crying. I asked her why she was crying, but she didn’t say a word and simply took the baby into the room.
After that day, major arguments over trivial matters regarding our baby boy began to erupt between us daily. My wife felt that I wasn’t a good father and didn’t care about the baby at all—but what father doesn’t care about his child?
No father can express love for his child in the same way a mother does, yet the fact remains that he loves his child deeply in his heart; this reality is undeniable.
Every day, my wife made it seem as though she was the only one who truly cared about the baby boy.
To be honest, I started feeling more comfortable at the office than at home. Since the baby boy would cry at night, I wasn’t getting enough sleep, and I was harbouring a growing sense of frustration.
According to the NHS, caring for a baby can be especially tiring during the first few months, when babies often wake several times during the night.
My frustration intensified because, over a period of two to three months, I didn’t go on a trip or even visit a park on the weekends. I spent those three months of holidays and weekends entirely at home, looking after the baby.
Whenever I asked my wife to go out, her answer was always “no.” Her standard response was, “The baby is still too small; we shouldn’t take him out.” Gradually, I got used to these refusals, but I began to feel suffocated inside.
Somehow, six months passed. Not a single day went by during that time without some sort of argument between my wife and me.
👉 If constant arguments are creating distance between husband and wife, understanding how to solve marital problems can be the first step toward bringing happiness back into a marriage.
She had come to view me as an enemy of our baby boy, believing that I cared more about going out and having fun than about the child.
My wife never tried to understand what made me happy. Her time was consumed by playing with and caring for the baby, whereas I found it incredibly difficult to pass the time just sitting at home.
I eventually decided to separate from my wife because I didn’t want to live that kind of life; however, things didn’t turn out that way, because someone entered my life at that time who completely transformed my way of thinking.
How We Solved Our Marriage Problems After Having a Baby
On the very day I was contemplating separating from my wife, my mother came to visit us. My father passed away many years ago, so it was my mother who raised me. She had come to stay at our home for the weekend.
Observing my facial expressions and my wife’s behaviour, my mother realized that things were not right between us.
She sat me down beside her and asked about my troubles.
I told her everything about the arguments between my wife and me, and also mentioned that I was thinking about separating from her. Mom listened to me carefully and then, explaining things to me, said:
“Look, son, your wife enjoys traveling and going out just as much as you do, isn’t that true? Before the baby boy was born, you and your wife used to go on trips during every holiday and weekend; you enjoyed everything a married couple should.
The baby boy isn’t just your wife’s child; he is yours too. Your wife likely wants to go out and travel as well, but she refrains from doing so because she worries something might happen to the baby.
Just think about your wife for a moment. You sleep in a different room so your sleep isn’t disturbed, but where can your wife go leaving the baby behind? She is the one who has to stay awake all night, isn’t she?
Don’t you see that your wife has given up all her own interests for the sake of the baby? In my opinion, son, your wife is making far more compromises than you are.
Do you think she faces no difficulties in looking after the baby? She certainly does, but how can she share her struggles with you when you are obsessed only with going out and traveling?
Once the child grows up, you can resume traveling, but if you take him out now and something happens to him, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
You might refresh your mind at the office, but have you ever thought about how your wife can refresh hers?
If you are a responsible person and want to be a responsible father, learn to spend time with your baby boy. When you start playing with him, you’ll find it even more enjoyable than going out, and your wife will get some much-needed rest.
The American Academy of Pediatrics also highlights the importance of fathers and partners being actively involved in caring for a newborn.
In situations like this, a husband and wife shouldn’t fight; instead, they should support each other. That is what true love is.”
Mom’s words… I listened quietly and realized that the fault lay neither with my wife nor with our baby boy, but with me. I immediately got up and went to the room where my wife was putting the baby to sleep.
I kissed my wife and apologized. She burst into tears. Just then, the baby woke up. I picked him up in my arms and started playing with him.
I didn’t even realize how the weekend flew by while playing with the baby.
Mom was right. Playing with the baby boy was far more enjoyable than going out for sightseeing. After that day, my wife and I never quarrelled again.
It has been five years since then. My baby boy has started school. We have resumed traveling, but now we go as a whole family and have a wonderful time. Whenever I suggest going out now, my wife never refuses; instead, she gets ready immediately because she, too, loves going out.
👉 As your child grows, parenting brings new responsibilities, including making the right choices about your child’s everyday food and health.
My Perspective: How to Keep a Marriage Strong After Having a Baby
My perspective is that for a marriage to last, it is essential for the husband and wife to truly understand each other, especially after the arrival of a baby.
Before the baby is born, the couple is on their own, living a romantic life much like a boyfriend and girlfriend. Some couples are so engrossed in their romance that the outside world hardly matters to them.
Then the baby arrives. After the birth, couples often feel the tension in the relationship and start arguing about the baby. The NHS also notes that having a baby can put strain on a relationship and recommends making time to listen to and support each other.
Some couples resort to blaming each other, saying things like, “You aren’t a good father,” or “You’ve become so irritable since the baby was born.” Husbands might even tell their wives that their temperament has changed drastically compared to before.
My wife and I went through this phase, so I know firsthand how arguments following the baby’s birth can create rifts in a relationship. My mother opened my eyes with some excellent advice, which helped me cherish my wife and son deeply.
A husband-wife relationship thrives when there is love, romance, and, crucially, mutual understanding during difficult times.
I learned to understand my wife, and the arguments between us stopped immediately. She, in turn, came to understand me well; now, she is always ready to go out with me on weekends or holidays without hesitation.
My wife, my son, and I are living a happy life and are preparing to welcome a second child.
My wife and I are fully confident that whenever we have our second child, we will take care of the baby together, and there will never be any arguments between us regarding the child.
